Bravo’s Cupid

by Rachel Schiff and Tracey Armstrong Gorsky | June 2014 | 1 Comment »

Navigating today’s dating scene can sometimes feel like you’re treading through a minefield. Online dating, speed dating, blind dating … phew! Sometimes we feel overwhelmed by the choices alone, let alone by the amount of people we may meet. So just what is a single person to do? Ask for help! Turn to your friends, your family, and even better, a professional. That’s where Patti Stanger comes in. Patti is the owner of the dating service Millionaire Matchmaker, which has been documented on the television station Bravo. The show was an instant hit, and we have now enjoyed seven seasons of Patti’s no-holds-barred commentary and slyly efficient dating advice. Her show gives us a bird’s-eye view of Southern California’s dating ups and downs and hopefully gives us a head’s up of what to avoid along the way. One thing is certain, though: Patti will always keep us laughing with her witty personality and she will tug on your heartstrings with her hopeless romantic attitude. JLife was lucky enough to catch up with this very busy lady, and she has imparted a few pearls of dating wisdom just for you.
Do you get requests often for people of the same faith?  It’s kind of 50/50. I don’t do denominational dating. If I have it in my database, I do it, but I’m all about the soul. So if the soul says I am Christian and he’s Jewish, I am all Namaste. I don’t advocate being with your own kind. I don’t categorize myself as a Jewish matchmaker.
Do Jewish guys want to date Jewish women?  Jewish women normally want to date Jewish men. Jewish guys normally want to date the shiksa. Sorry. It’s true. I didn’t create it; that what they asked for. Jewish religious guys I have, the more religious ones­ — they will only pick women that will convert. And as we know converts are usually better Jews than Jews by birth. The guys don’t want the Christmas tree in the house. You know he wants the Holy Grail. It’s impossible: 1 in 1000.
What are some of the oddest requests you have had?  I think it goes on the kinky side. Are their breasts real? I don’t do sexual persuasion dating. Once you first get the guy or the girl, it’s up to you when and how you’re going to have sex and what happens in the bedroom. I don’t go that far. The richer the man gets, the more they want kink. Porn has ruined our generation. It’s not about lovemaking. It’s all about wham, bam, thank you ma’am. Most men come to me when they want a relationship. They’ve already played and dated and are ready to settle down by the time they come to me.
Do you have a problem with people sticking to the two-drink max?  No, I think what happens is that it is more for the women than the men. Men can hold their alcohol and women cannot. Women usually are lighter weight and cannot usually hold more than two drinks, especially if you’re not eating. By the time you’re on the third drink, you’re not clear-headed and make poor choices because your libido is surging. Men can hold a lot more, but I don’t want them driving when they are intoxicated.
Are there any behaviors you think single people should incorporate in their daily lives to increase the odds of finding their match?  Yes, exercise. The statistics show us that happy people find happy relationships. In order to be happy, you have to exercise. It helps your endorphins flow and takes you out of depression. You know, looking for love is depressing, especially when you have wedding season upon us. Everyone’s a bridesmaid and never a bride. So you’re always feeling like it’s a race, especially in your 20s. More than even in your 40s, you feel like if you don’t find love in college, you’re nothing. You start to hit 29 and you are in that 30 spot and you feel like you’re an old maid. When I went to Israel when I was 26, they told me I was an old maid. So I got really depressed in Israel and when I got home the pressure started. East Coast mothers pressure you so much. I always felt like this little pest on my shoulder pressuring me, constantly, so I couldn’t relax. So with exercise and meditation, a hot bath, things that relax you … you feel less heat. When you have less pressure you attract more men because you’re relaxed. I spin every day. If I did spin in my 20s I would have figured it out. Every time you rush, you make a mistake. It distracts you from the goal, the place you want to end up.
You mentioned your mom. Did she ever give you any dating advice and if so, what?  Yes, she said nothing good ever happens after 11 oclock at night, so go home. If a guy wants to get hold of you, he will. You don’t have to be the last, cleaning up the party. He will find a way to get hold of you. He’ll find you. Always make them want you more.
Do you remember your first date?  OMG, I was fixed up. It was junior high and my parents’ best friends had a son who went to a different school than I did. And it was one of those dances and I remember I was wearing a prairie dress. Those were really in style at the time. And I didn’t want to go because I didn’t like him. My mother forced me and said “This is practice for the future so when the right guy comes along you’ll know how to do it.” I actually had a good night; it was fun.
What’s the funniest dating story you can think of, whether yours or a clients?  I don’t think this is a funny story, but it is an interesting story. There was this guy who was from OC, Laguna Beach. And he was very much a player. And he had played every one of the girls in Newport, Corona Del Mar, everything. He gets a Beverly Hills woman from my company and she’s his dream girl. She’s gorgeous. Everything you can imagine. He just forgot to break up with his OC lady. One day, out of the blue he goes to his hot spot in Beverly Hills, where he told his BH girl he couldn’t go out that night, so he could take out his OC lady. Well, they ended up running into one another and the girls figured out very quickly what was going on. They met in the bathroom to discuss the situation and both broke up with him that same night. I’ll never forget that. Too many hands in the candy store and you’re going to get busted. It’s a good story. He learned a lesson. He kept crying and trying to get both of them back and they just wouldn’t. I fixed the girls up with other guys.
What’s the strangest place you’ve seen a guy take a girl on a first date?  It’s a very famous A-lister. I cannot tell you his name. He got majorly busted because he would take them to a swinger’s club. Not a swing dancing club, on a first date. I was the 911 phone call. By the time the third girl called, I realized he’s just kinky. I dunno. I also had someone who took someone to an army base. The army base had a party and he took her there for a first date. Not very millionaire, but oh well.
What do you think is lacking in Jewish dating services?  I think Jewish dating services are okay. JDate has been around since the beginning of time. There are a lot of Jewish matchmakers. Reform doesn’t need it as much as other sects of Judaism. Thank G-d for Jewish matchmakers. I couldn’t do it. The rules and regulations are so extreme; I couldn’t find anyone to fit that round hole in a square peg.
Is there a dynamic difference between men and women?  Women are doing so much these days. We are making more money. Taking their [men’s] jobs. Most of the Jewish boys over 40 were still living at home with their mother. I told momma that he [her son] couldn’t get out of the house for anyone right now. It’s not just Jewish; it’s every religion. Across the water, everybody gets a trophy; nobody has to compete anymore. It’s a backlash because of the hippies. They felt like they didn’t want their kids to have pressure. But, without that pressure and competitiveness and edge, they didn’t have a reason to push. They [now] have a sense of entitlement. I think behaviors start with the mother. You have to give your children a sense of competitiveness and not being a spoiled sport. They need sportsmanship. Once you get that, they enjoy the process. Remember, men are built to compete. Women are not; we can multitask, but competitiveness on top of that is too much to bear.
Do you give men advice on what to wear as well as women?  Yes, as well as on their homes, car, and lifestyle. We live in Southern California where everyone is beautiful. You really have to compete to pop off the page so the male or female will be attracted to you. We do consultations and I do a half-hour for $1,500 and $3,000 for an hour. Also how to meet guys on your own and questions for dating. [We do] Skype and phone calls: we even have an option to spend the day with me for $10,000. My time is limited so you spend the day with me and you get a lot. A lot of my marriages come from the consult. I had three last week. One of them took me two years to get married. She bought a package for $40,000 and I spent two years working with her and she’s pregnant already. Finally after six months she started to realize my advice would help and she softened and she became a little flower. The guys then started paying attention to her. In California, it’s acceptable to be pregnant before marriage. It is Hollywood 101. We do everything backwards here. That’s a norm in Hollywood. It’s socially acceptable. People don’t think twice, but you may not want to be large on your wedding day.
Is marriage a must? Some people choose not to be married. In the Orthodox community, it is clearly about marriage. I do this Oprah style. I live in sin with my boyfriend. I am more about the relationship than the contract. Today, in California, the contract can really hurt women. If you make more money than the man you can go broke, so you have to think twice before you step off the curb. I don’t see the men making the money they did in the tech boom. There are fewer millionaires than there were 10 years ago so you have to choose your guy wisely. Does he have money, ambition, and credit? That’s a big deal.
Do you get invited to a lot of weddings? Yes, every single one I have fixed up I have been invited to. I can’t make all of them, but I go to as many as I can. I have made six weddings of my own at the start of my business. I usually get the “please don’t tell anyone we met through you,” but now I am famous and I show up and they toast me when they’re drunk.
Have you had a kid named after you? No, but Ms. Patti the boat was named after me.
How we can guide people to your service? Register at: www.millionairesclub123.com and ladies can register for free. Millionaires and Millionairesses can also contact me there to join my service.
Miss Stanger also has a beautiful jewelry line appropriately named “Je T’aime” which can be found at www.shopjetaime.com.

One Comment to “Bravo’s Cupid”

  1. JANET GOLDMAN says:

    very interesting!!!!!

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